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I always think a lot when December rolls around. I think about plans and order and improvements and...well, you get the picture. I just love beginnings. I love new days, new weeks, new months and new years. They're all so full of wonder, ya know? So full of hope. Anything could happen.
Thirty-two years ago, my mom passed away on December 13th. Mom left this life with a lot of regrets. In fact, she asked to have the poem Risk read at her funeral as her last message to all of us—essentially saying that she hadn't had the courage to risk her heart, her friendship, her time, her skill, and as a result, she felt she never rose to be as good, as talented, as loved, as happy as she might have been. What a life-lesson for me, a girl of nineteen, fresh out of high school.
On December 18th, nine years ago, my beloved father-in-law passed away. I'm sure he had regrets (who doesn't), but he didn't dwell on them. He made the most out of every situation he found himself in. He loved wholeheartedly. He pursued his interests and talents. He strove to be the best version of himself. His life wasn't without challenges, yet still he found a way to be happy. He made me want to be like him.
On top of all that, David and I were married on December 27th (twenty-eight years ago, wow). Back then it was only a thing of convenience, a natural break between university terms. Now, we think we could't have chosen a better time. Christmas reminds us to be kinder and more loving, and the whole world is decked out in light and beauty. So it's only natural that when our anniversary arrives, we're filled with love and gratitude. Then, we turn and face the future--a new year approaching in just a few more days—and we're filled with wonder at all the possibilities. We're filled with hope.
So as 2020 comes around, I look back and see all that I have to be grateful for, and I look forward to see all that's still to come.
My boys will turn twenty in 2020. Xan will complete his mission and begin university. Charlie will continue college and maybe move on to university. Maybe there'll be girls, maybe even serious relationships. David and I feel like we're coming to a point of adulthood where a lot of the work we've put in is beginning to pay off, and like maybe 2020 will be when we really shine.
I'm not making huge resolutions or life-changing goals. I have some business goals that will take a dose of commitment from me, but...well, I'm gonna give it a go. Because what's the point in life if you aren't always trying to live it well? Yes, there's risk involved. But as they say, better than to have to have tried than to have never tried at all. Or, you know. Let's go with that.
I hope you take a minute to look back at the year, decade, life, behind you and see what there is to be grateful for—then turn yourself fully toward the future and all the possibility it holds for everything good—personal satisfaction, love, happiness. Then put one foot in front of the other, and go claim those possibilities for yourself. You deserve them. (We all do!)